I have another blog. It's called "I'm Blessed Dang It!" I haven't written anything on it in at least 6 months. But I originally started it as a reminder to myself that I'm blessed, everyday. I wanted to force myself to see all the ways I'm blessed. Obviously I haven't done too good at keeping up with it, but after reading through some old posts, I think it's probably a good idea to pick it up again, if for no one else but myself. I was super encouraged after reading this post I did last January and thought I'd re-post it for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
Knowing the value of blessing
Most of my life I've had a bit of a flare for the dramatic. Not usually in all things, but like when I get an idea stuck in my head it can go in a million directions verging on insane and by the time I get around to talking about the ant bite on my big toe I've decided that my life will be forever ruined because I'm going to have to have my big toe amputated. See what I'm getting at?? Anyways, without going into too much embarrassing history, a few years ago when I was in college I was living in Florida, fresh out of high school and I had done the unthinkable. I had signed up for a credit card, or five against my parents wishes. I was a bit (understatement) naive. My idea of a credit card was that I could load it up, buy whatever I wanted and simply pay a $10 monthly fee the rest of my life. Does it get any better than that!! And to top it off my mom had done something to help me build credit by putting my name on some of her stuff, so when I applied for credit cards I was approved usually for $5000-$10000. HEAVEN!
And then reality hit....
My express card was maxed out, and I had spent so much on other cards that my payments were far above $10 a month. And to top it all off I had gone home for a visit for a couple months and saved all my bill money for that time (cause I wouldn't have work) and one day when I put all my checks in the mail someone stole them out of my mailbox, washed the checks and decided to get their roof done! Of course I didn't even realize this had happened til the credit cards started calling asking where my payments were. So long story short I got it all worked out with the bank but the credit card company's had no mercy and sent my interest rates through the roof. Talk about a quick education in finance, haha! I got back to Florida, and I remember sitting on my bedroom floor one night in the cute little condo I rented with 3 other girls, and looking over my bills and crying hysterically. I couldn't talk to anyone about it, cause it was my big secret. But I had CC bills I couldn't pay, rent coming up that I couldn't pay, utilities, etc....then I started thinking about how the creditors would come after me and freeze all of my accounts until all my debt was paid off and I'd be kicked out of my house and I couldn't tell my parents, so when they called to ask how I was doing I'd need to put on a happy face and pretend that life was great even though i was huddled up in an old refrigerator box under the highway, and I'd need to come p with good excuses about how busy I was so they wouldn't come see me and what a horrible mess I've made of myself.
By this point I was hyperventilating through the tears and decided it was time to confess to my parents cause I would never survive the streets of Florida....unless, maybe if I made it over the bridge to the beach, hmmmm....I'd lose lots of weight eating fruit 'living off the land' be endlessly tan.... eh, who am I kidding!
My mom picked up 'hello?'
me: gasp, gasp, gasp, 'he' gasp' l' gasp 'l' gasp 'l' gasp 'lo?' gasp gasp
And then of course I freaked my mom out with my hysterics, she probably thought someone had died, but I set her straight. I came right out with it, between gasps of course. I proceeded to tell her about my future home living under a bridge and I probably wouldn't be able to afford my phone, and then I finally got to the part about having credit cards...lots of them. It was a brutal phone call, and my hyperventilating wasn't getting any better. Finally my dad got on the phone and said something so simple that snapped me back into reality.
Dad: 'Lacey, did you eat today?'
me: 'yes'
Dad:' Did you have a roof over your head today?'
me:'yes'
Dad:'Well then what else do you need?'
me: silence
Then he went on to explain that God took care of al my basic needs today and yesterday and I just needed to trust him.
Of course my parents helped me out with rent, but I just needed to be reminded that as terrifying and uncertain as life may seem at times, God watches over the mundane details as much as He watches over the mighty storms, but I just have to trust him day to day. He always good at 'course correcting' for us.
I screwed up, but God used that to teach me alot, and there were some really hard lessons in that, some that I'm still paying for. But I have food in my belly everyday, clothes on my back (stylish ones at that), and a roof over my head. I'm taken care of.
It's taken some hard lessons to teach me the value of blessing, but I'm grateful for it, because when everything goes wrong and it feels like the world and my 'life' is headed to hell in a handbasket, I can wipe the game board of life clean and look and see that I have all that I need. My God, my family, love, food, shelter, and clothes. I'm so taken care of, and I know how to hunt down a blessing!
