The stuff nobody told me

I haven't gone too over board reading pregnancy books, but I've read a few, and I get like 4 weekly e-mails telling me whats happening this week, but there's a few things they leave out of those books, or maybe I just skipped over these parts because I didn't think they applied to me at the time.

First, I really think there should be a pregnancy book for women who gain more than the recommended amount. Because when pregnant women (or at least this pregnant woman) talk about feeling huge, they aren't actually talking about their stomach! That's the part you expect, and I'm great with the huge belly, just not the equally huge butt, that, by the way, no longer fits into ANY 'lounging around' shorts! Nor the cellulite down to my knees, who knew knees could get fat?! And I don't even want to get into the back fat! There should be warnings in these books that not everyone fits into the average category and to refrain looking into mirrors that let you see your backside until at least a few months after the baby is born.

Secondly, and it's taken me some time, but I've learned, if something is going on with your body and there's even the slightest fear in your mind DO NOT go googling around looking for answers to your aliments! Because I can almost promise you you WILL come across someone's horror story who had the same symptoms as you, just ask your Dr. AND something I've found really helpful when I start freaking out is a book someone gave me called supernatural pregnancy by Jackie Mize. And whether or not you believe all the stuff in it or not you can get a little companion book with it called Prayers and Promises and I just pick it up and start declaring scripture and promises over Zion and when I can't even conjure up a prayer I just pray the prayer in the book.  It's been a hard lesson, but I feel much better when I just believe God's promises for my child rather than all the what if's google brings up.

Thirdly, The Hormones! With a capital H. I'll be 8 months in a few days and I've been hormonal on and off during my pregnancy but nothing too crazy, but GOOD LORD! They have kicked into high gear! I spent the past few days hiding from Erik and crying because I'm so excited to meet Zion, but I don't want her to grow up! And then I look at Hadassah and I cry because I don't want her to grow up either. And then I watch the Subaru commercial where the dad's giving the little girl driving instructions and then when she goes to pull out of the drive way she's 16, and I cry!!! Then I was taking some stuff out to the storage building this morning and I cried, why?? You ask, I don't know!!!
I know I won't feel like this forever, I'm sure the first time I get pooped on the feeling will pass quickly, but man, I feel like a nut case!

Fourth, No one prepares you (or at least no one prepared me) for how lame you (meaning 'I') would feel the last few months. Not only am I giganto, it's a furnace outside right now and my body is a furnace, and the 2 furnace's do not mix well together! So I don't want to move, at all! Unless it's getting into an air conditioned car to go to an air conditioned mall, movie theater, or out to eat. So when I get invited to go lay out or go out on a boat I tell my husband 'go enjoy yourself, but I'm staying home' And I feel lame, but it's so hot, and my butt hurts when I sit too long, and I feel like that fun girl Erik married has gone into hiding, and it's scary taking on this whole new identity of motherhood, and absolutely loving it by the way, and feeling like this is everything I've wanted and it feels so right and I'm actually enjoying this pregnancy immensely, but at the same time fearing that the fun, energetic wife part of me is dying, and I know it's temporary  but it's still scary, cause I'm a wife first and then a mother but all this tiredness and these hormones are alot to deal with!

 

Fifth, (I promise there's good stuff too) No matter how much people tell you about motherhood and pregnancy and how much you will love your baby you just can't fully fathom it until you feel it. And I just can't even imagine how much more I will love Zion once she's here, but right now it's just me and her, I get to feel her every move, I can tell when she's gotten a little bigger, sometimes I can even tell when she's about to move alot. I can sit alone for hours imagining if she's sucking her thumb right now, or stretching, or blinking, what she's going to look like how she'll act, etc.... and the further along I get it's all I want to talk about or think about (although I don't because I understand that people probably don't really care that much when it's not their own kid...been there). I got her bassinet all set up in our room and now I just stare at it thinking 'Holy crap! My baby is going to be in that thing in a couple of months!' It's just amazing how in love you can be and how protective you can feel.

Those are the major one's. Of course there's the whole new 'nesting' thing going on right now which, maybe not everyone experiences this, but I've got a list (I am a 'list' person which makes this so much worse, because I have a need to mark things off the list once they are on there) going of things I want to get done before my baby shower and before Zion gets here and when I get going on one of my projects it feels like a panic attack, like I've got some pressing deadline I've got to make (as in hours, not days or weeks) and I can't leave the house or do anything else until it's done.  And to make matters worse I've refrained from putting cleaning on my list because we live with my parents and the house is always full of people and whatever I clean gets trashed within minutes, talk about a panic attack, I'm terrified of going into labor and having to bring Zion home to a dirty house!!

Now, after saying all that please take note that I have removed myself from the 'average' category of pregnant women, so not everything I've said or felt is normal or true for everyone, so please don't let this scare you away from pregnancy or make you fear what's to come if you are pregnant. Cause let me tell you, I'm 8 months in and this has all just been a major learning curve, but by no means has any of it deterred me from wanting to do it all over again a few more times.

So here's to pregnancy, losing my butt, and a fat margarita in 2 months!