Beautiful things are in the womb of a seed

Rain is falling softly this morning and the sun still shines brightly behind a veil of sheer clouds. Its just enough light that when you walk outside and smell the refreshing of the rain and the sun still lighting the sky that your heart seems to stand tall, as though it had hunched over without you realizing it.

  I take a deep breath and realize that my heart has been heavy with the suffering I see. My heart wants to know the right words or things to do that will rescue them from pain.

  But the rain reminds me of the seed that must go down into the soil, into the darkness, alone, and die. Its cracked open, it looks like destruction, but then suddenly the rain comes and wets the soil. The soil; the darkness and isolation, the thing that feel like its been suffocating you, becomes life and nutrition. You find yourself feasting off of your destruction. You look at your little seedling body, cracked and destroyed beyond repair,  “This shouldn’t be, it isn’t right! No one could survive being filleted like this.” , but then you begin to see life shooting up and growing out of the remains of your heart. It looks so small and weak, it couldn’t possibly make its way through the thick darkness! But the refreshing rain causes the darkness to become soft and pliable and this weak little sprouts pushes its way out desperate to feel the Sun shining. That tiny little sprout makes it through and becomes whatever that tiny seed had been carrying around for years. A tree, a flower, something edible, life-giving. And as that tree or flower grows, basking in the Sun, boasting of the beauty that came from its death, that little seed remains in the ground, becoming the life source and anchor for the restoration that sprouted from destruction. And every time the rain falls the little seed sprouts legs and arms the dig deep and wide into the darkness that has become a source of life.

John 12:24 “A single grain of wheat will never be more than a single grain of wheat unless it drops into the ground and dies. Because then it sprouts and produces a great harvest of wheat—all because one grain died.”

Suffering and pain are fascinating subjects to me. They used to be something I never wanted to think about or be around. They terrified me. I thought God had planned out points of extreme pain or suffering in my life so that I could be of use to Him, a pawn of sorts. I was always waiting for the other boot to drop anytime things seemed good. But I seemed to have forgotten there is an enemy. John 10:10 “ A thief has only one thing in mind—he wants to steal, slaughter,and destroy. But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect—life in its fullness until you overflow!“ 

 Though I still don’t wish pain and suffering to be a part of my life, I see an undeniable beauty not just from the life and restoration that comes from them but the terrified yet obedient surrender of one who lets others come close to share in their pain. Theres nothing more precious to me than when someone shares their deepest pain, anger, grief, regret, etc with me knowing that I have no power to rescue them only to sit in silence as they release the pressure on the valve. So often we don’t want to burden others with our suffering, but we want nothing more than to not be alone as we walk through it.  At some point we let that tension catapult us into isolation, or to bear the most raw and tender places of our souls hoping that someone will just BE with us. 

  I don’t understand suffering and how there seems to almost be a need for it. I suppose its a product of our fallen world. Because Eden was created to reflect Heaven. No suffering, no pain. But now in our world it almost seems as though everything of value comes from a place of pain or destruction. Pearls are formed by years of irritation, diamonds by extreme heat and pressure, forests return with vibrant beauty after wildfires, those who were once abandoned now rescue children, those who were abused help others escape, those who have suffered tell their story and offer hope, those who knew no laughter or joy are now filled with laughter, those who had no family are surrounded by family, God became man, suffered and ultimately died to restore hope and life.

  This morning the rain reminded me of one of my favorite Childrens books, ’It will be okay.” My kids don’t really care for it, but I nearly cry every time I read it. And I just wanted to encourage some of my friends walking through dark places, that beautiful things are in the womb of a seed.